Nourhan Abdelhak

I was twenty, divorced and caring for a special needs child. Here I realized that I was no longer an ordinary high school girl. And, then, I fully realized that the world is not furnished with roses and that divorce in our Libyan society is not filled with compassion.

I am Nourhan Abdelhak, 27 years old. I am a journalist and a poet from Darnah.

I received my divorce papers after great conflict and pain, especially since I was incredibly reluctant about the decision to divorce because of my child’s health condition and other negative circumstances that were affecting my family.

I knew I could not face the world alone with an ill child. I started studying at the university in the Faculty of Science (Zoology). I knew that the university would be a lifeline for me and my child. My success in university continued year after year. I had heard a few of the whispers around me, “Oh, you are divorced?” but I paid no attention to it. What really mattered to me was reaching and achieving my goals and following my passion.

I started writing poetry. I entered a poetry competition and got first place in the Libyan, Arab and international literature forums. I stormed the world of poetry nights and soon found myself in the first event in Dernah with many great and famous poets.

In addition to my success in the field of poetry, I became involved in national and civil societies. I participated, and still do, in courses and training that contribute to self-development. However, this did not provide me with financial income for myself and Hammadi. At first, I worked as a reporter’s assistant. I also photographed kids and helped out as a wedding photographer. I remember once carrying a bride’s bag and saying to myself that I never wanted to be there again…

After graduation, I couldn't get a job related to my studies, so I decided to break into a new field. I started working as a humanitarian worker with even greater passion. I volunteered at The Libyan Red Crescent in Derna where I faced multiple, unreasonable challenges because I was divorced. However, I remained determined to volunteer and work hard. As a result, and without prior planning, I received opportunities to work with international humanitarian organizations. I started getting noticed more and more in real life and on social media.

I got a job with an organization and immediately started saving money for my son's treatment. After a while, we travelled to Benghazi for his first surgery. I was willing to do anything for him; overcoming obstacles became my passion. I received great compassion and continued support as websites and social media pages shared my story. I never stopped working hard. I kept posting photos of my activities with the organization, raising awareness on war remnants and mines risks, and hanging posters all over the city. After working for two years, my contract with the organization ended and I, once again, became unemployed.

While searching for a job, I decided to practice a forgotten passion of mine and work in the media industry. I worked at a radio station as a morning show host. The show was successful and had a large audience, but it didn’t last long because I had to move to Benghazi in order to achieve a greater goal. I became the director of the Women’s Affairs Office at The Libyan Red Crescent. This was a turning point in my career. It was a moment of reflection on the long journey I took: from a young volunteer trying so hard to prove herself to the director of the Women's Affairs Office! I felt motivated to work even harder. In addition to my work attending field visits to different Libyan cities, I kept working in the media industry. I received an offer from a Libyan TV channel and I was able to confidently take part in live shows even though I was still a beginner.

I currently live in Benghazi. I work from the early morning until 8:00pm. I’m creating a balanced lifestyle for my son, and trying my best to get him the treatment he needs so he can go to school and expand his knowledge. My faith in Allah is very strong, and I trust that we’ll be okay despite all the challenges we go through on a daily basis.

My message to everyone is to challenge yourselves, conquer your own pain and never stop dreaming.

I would like to thank my mother for believing in me. She’s been my companion through every step of the way, blessing me with duaa and reciting: may Allah protect you and keep you away from those who do not fear Him.