Lamia Elbadri

Concerning my childhood, I was born into a family that was torn apart. My parents were separated, and this separation caused many conflicts. These disputes were not only between my parents but also between both of my parent’s families.

These conflicts muddied the waters in my life. I was the first grandchild from my father’s side and, like any first grandchild, I received great care and attention from my father’s side of the family. This only worsened the relationship between me and my mother’s side of the family. Unfortunately, this brought tremendous guilt that continued for a long time in my life.

My name is Lamia Elbadri. I am a children's rights activist.

The relationship between my parents underwent many changes and, because of this, I never had a stable life. I moved around and lived with my mother for a while and then with my father. This was not easy for my childhood and especially for a girl growing up. There was no one to take care of me when I was with my father, so he used to take me with him to his work.

Despite these many difficulties in my life, it never affected my education nor my academic levels- quite the opposite, actually. I took advantage of any and all opportunities where I could participate in school activities like music and theater. To me, school was an escape from my tense life at home.

During another period in my life, I went to live with my grandmother in Syria. Thinking back, I think this was one of the best periods of my life. My grandmother took good care of me. She cared for me a lot and gave me the attention I needed. She helped me focus on my studies and she also sparked within me a passion for reading. My grandmother had a library. It was rich with books in all kinds of subjects. Unfortunately, this chapter of my life didn’t last long. I returned to Libya after completing my high school education.

Upon my return, my father suggested that I enroll in a training center that focused on capacity building and skills development. Without hesitation, I agreed.

During one of the sessions in the training center, a question was asked about our relationship with our parents. A comment was made by one of the participants in the session: “A girl whose parents are separated is excluded from society.” I was so shocked. I had to withdraw myself from the session. Intense feelings and emotions rushed through me. I was in so much pain.

As soon as I left the session, I was followed by one of the trainers. I broke down. Tears rushed down my face. I am a discreet person and don’t like to share what I’ve been through in my life. However, at this point, I needed to talk and open up to a person who understands me.

After a long, open and honest conversation, the trainer made it clear to me that I was not to blame for what happened in my past, and that I was not to blame for what happened between my parents. She mentioned that I was only a child and wasn’t capable of assessing the gravity of what I was going through. My trainer got through to me and I was convinced.

I felt comforted and calm after this conversation. The feeling of guilt that I had been carrying for so long began to fade. My self-hate diminished. I realized that focusing on my interests was the first step for change in my life. This step would broaden my horizons in a way that I had yet to even imagine.

In the place where I was beginning to feel a sense of belonging, the training period had ended and my relationship with my trainer had strengthened. From our final conversation, she helped me make peace with myself. The surprise came when she asked me to work in the center as an official employee! I felt ecstatic to receive a job offer in a prestigious place with a salary that allowed me to become financially self-sufficient at 19 years old.

I didn’t know that this would be the first step towards a developing desire to become an influential person in other people's lives. My trainer always told me that I can’t change the world, but, if I can be the reason for the people around me to have better lives, this is a great achievement in life. Since then, I have made this my life goal. I felt proud to be the youngest employee in the office. I worked with a great passion to the extent that one time my coach yelled at me to rest.

My job was to transfer the knowledge I gained from my training to new trainees (ages 6 to 25). Little by little, I began to feel that my passion for training children exceeded all else. Every time I saw a child who suffered from difficulties in their life, I remembered what I suffered in my own childhood from my parents' separation. I promised myself to do what I could for every child in need of support. And, perhaps due to Allah’s wisdom, I began to receive job opportunities in the field of children’s rights.

After the center had closed because of war, my job there was done. I received another job offer from an international organization concerned with protecting illegal immigrant children. This organization offers psychological and social support for illegal immigrant children and teenagers (and their mothers). This offer opened new horizons for me to reach my life goal of becoming an influential person in the life of vulnerable people.

Because of the expertise, I gained from working in shelters and witnessing the suffering of immigrants, I now work with another organization as a researcher to oppose violence against immigrants and increase immigrants’ awareness of their rights.

I have had great opportunities to coach women in Ghat who are facing challenging circumstances similar to my own. I always create opportunities out of every difficulty that I face in life. I am now back in Tripoli to finish my journey and discover what new opportunities life has for me.